Hurry Up and Wait?

I have never been one for patience.  I want results yesterday when I start exercising.  I want to be done with projects minutes after beginning.  I am ready for opening day of baseball just days after the World Series champions are crowned.  For the past three years, I have been waiting.  It has been hard in so many ways.

It has been hard to decipher exactly what God is calling us to do.  I have spent countless hours in prayer, study, and in the Word.  I have talked to many people who have challenged me, encouraged me, and even pointed out the negative aspects of this journey.  The hardest part of deciphering has been assimilating all the information into understandable and digestible bites.

It has been hard to examine myself.  This has led to many times of crying out to God to purify, change, strengthen, and reveal to Himself to me.  I know my own weaknesses, strengths, spiritual gifts, failures, and triumphs.  The hardest part of examining myself has been being real with myself and seeing myself in light of Christ in me.

It has been hard to learn enough.  I have spent the better part of the last three years reading and listening to podcasts and seminars.  I have tried to soak up the knowledge of others…people who have been down the same road and are significantly smarter that I am.  Leaders are learners.  I want to be a better leader, father, husband, and Christian.  The hardest part of learning has been reading and reading fast enough and with enough comprehension to effectively transform me into His likeness.

I am not very patient but God is showing me that I need to wait on Him and follow His lead and I am slowly yielding.

Are we crazy?!?

With certainty, I can say that some of you out there want to look us in the eyes and say, “Are yall CRAZY?”! We can see how some would be thinking that, as we have thought it of others, in the past, who took radical steps of faith and obedience. In fact, honestly, early in this journey I asked myself this on more than one occasion.
However, in countries where persecution of Christians is prevalent, what God has asked of us seems simple and risk-free. But, here in the US, why are we leaving our comfort zone, the Bible belt, heading to unfamilar land, where all financial support depends on the generosity of others? The simple answer is obedience. God, in His own perfect timing, has called us to plant a church in Denver, CO and has confirmed this reality many times over through prayer, scripture, song, and Christian counsel.
I no longer feel crazy, yet it is radical! God has changed our lives radically and is sending us to a largely lost population to share our stories and spread the powerful Gospel. We know He is mighty to save and is preparing a spiritual harvest in CO.
Raising support, selling our home, saying goodbye to what is comfortable to us will be hard, no doubt! But God has given me a “peace that passes understanding”, a peace difficult to explain, impossible to convey apart from Him. I have full assurance He will meet ALL of our needs and love us through each transition. Having this peace has changed the whole journey for me and allowed me to be excited and grateful to be part of His Kingdom work in a fresh, new way.
If you haven’t heard the song, “Something Heavenly”, you should. It describes life for me right now so well. “Whatever You’re doing inside of me, it feels like chaos but somehow there’s peace. And its hard to surrender to what I can’t see but I’m giving into something Heavenly.” Go ahead, ask us if we’ve lost our minds!!! We can’t blame you! But it will give us an opportunity to share what God is up to and “He’s up to something bigger than me, larger than life, something Heavenly”!

Information Overload

What is church planting?  Why do you church plant?  How do you do church plant?  How is church planting different or the same as an established church?

Those are a few of the many questions I asked, was asked and continue to ask.  Some of them are simple to answer; others needed much research by people much smarter than I.  I will try to answer them all to the best of my ability.

What is church planting?  Church planting is not building a building and inviting people to it.  Church planting is not swapping sheep or collecting disgruntled Christians from other churches.  Church planting is, first and foremost, evangelism.  It is starting a church from a small group and working toward a self-sustaining body of Believers.

Why do you church plant?  According to Ed Stetzer in Planting Missional Churches, “Churches under 3 years of age win an average of 10 people to Christ per year for every [one] hundred church members.  Churches 3 to 15 years of age win an average of five people per year for every [one] hundred church members. Churches over 15 years of age win an average of three people per year for every [one] hundred church members.   Church planting reaches more people than the established church.  In addition to those statistics, The North American Mission Board has recently calculated these church-to-population ratios based on the statistics from the US census: in 1900, there were 28 churches for every 10,000 Americans; in 1950, there were 17 churches for every 10,000 Americans; in 2000, there were 12 churches for every 10,000 Americans; in 2004, the latest year available, there were 11 churches for every 10,000 Americans.In that same time period the number of churches has increased just over 50% while the population of the country has almost quadrupled.  The lostness in this country is growing and the Gospel needs to be delivered where it is needed most.  The planting of new churches is the most efficient method of reaching those people.

How do you do church plant?  Not to over exaggerate but there a multitude of church planting models and not everyone is best for all circumstances.  The model has to fit the church planter, the spiritual climate, and the location.  I have read many books that all tout they have the be all end all church planting model. Each situation is different and requires the planter to exegete the culture much like a missionary in a foreign country.

How is church planting different or the same as an established church?   The two are the same in principle.  Both are focused on bringing God glory in all actions, events, and programs.  The biggest difference is church DNA.  The established church has a set of rules and traditions that govern all that is done while the church plant has order but not the tradition.  The church plant starts with a clean slate when setting up tradition.  All churches have tradition, some are creating it while others are governed by it.

I hope this all helps you understand a little bit about what we are doing and going to do in the future.

Who?What?When?Where?Why?How?

This journey has taught me so much about myself already and I know this self discovery will continue. I have asked so many questions of God, Eric, and countless others…some, admittedly out of fear and doubt. God has answered many of my questions through His Word, through prayer and reflection, and through people around me. Eric and I have also read quite a few books full of answers and personal challenge. One book we both read early in this journey was Just Do Something. The Great Commission in Matthew speaks to ALL Christians, commanding us to “go”, “make disciples”, “baptize” and “teach”. God has made it abundantly clear to us that we are to fulfill this command in Colorado, but all Christians are to be doing these things somewhere. His Word also says others won’t know Him unless they hear, won’t hear about Him unless someone preaches and won’t have preaching unless someone goes! Statistically, Denver is a city where the vast majority of people haven’t heard and/or don’t believe. Having travelled there twice in the last 18 months, we feel drawn to make Him known amongst the people of Denver. I think of them and pray for them as if I already know them because the need is great and the harvest is ready. God is already giving me a great love for the people I will meet there, as well as a great burden for lost souls who call Colorado home. Some questions are still unanswered, but others are now crystal clear! We will soon be full time missionaries, Denver will one day be our home, and God will provide for all our needs. Amazing Grace saved a wretch like me and God will use my testimony to reach others for His Glory. As a child, I sang a song with my Mimi and now it is true of me…”I’ll shout it from the mountaintop, I want the world to know, the Lord of love has come to me, I want to pass it on”!

Everything is Possible

In the days following God speaking to me, I knew that God wanted me to go to Denver, CO but I was not sure how I would get there, when we would go or what I would do when we arrived.  Everything was possible.  I am currently a youth minister and have been involved in youth ministry since I felt called to serve in that area when I was 18.  Over the next few months I contacted churches, associations, individuals who live in the area and even local seminaries.

The options were limitless.  We could move to Denver and get a job and make a living and keep our resume out for the churches there.  I could apply for the youth ministry and senior pastor positions that were available.  I could go back to school work toward a PhD in New Testament and work toward teaching at a seminary in Denver.  But none of those things seemed to pan out.

Over the coming months, we prayed for clarity and for God to open and close doors.  But all we found were closed doors.  Door after door after door was closed.  God was answering our prayer but not in the way we really wanted or thought we wanted.  After many months of closed doors, someone mentioned church planting to me.  Saying that I would make a great church planter.  All I could think was, “That is not me.”  Church planter was not me.  It had to be God.  I would not have signed up for this on my own.  I was not looking for such a task or position, but God had others plans for me.  The infinite possibilities had been whittled down to one by God over the span of about a year through many closed doors to point us to a door we did not think to be an option.

Dreams…

Growing up, I had big hopes and big dreams for my future. Beginning as a child, I imagined myself as a wife, a mom, even a teacher. After accepting Christ as my Lord and Savior, as I grew older, I learned that God has a plan for my life, a perfect plan, “plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future”. More times than not, God’s plan has looked different than my own plan, but He has always given me a certain peace, “a peace that passes understanding”, in His time. He willed for me to marry Eric, willed for my womb to carry children, willed for me to teach in schools, churches, even my own home. I have questioned His plans, moreso His timing, repeatedly along the way. However, obedience has always come with blessing. To God be the glory!
Now, “church planter” and “pastor’s wife” have never really been on my radar until recently. Those are titles I never thought would be associated with my name. A wise mentor of mine told me 5+ years ago that men are typically dreamers and not to be the squelcher of my husband’s dreams. I began to dream with Eric…of our kids’teen years, vacations of the future, impractical purchases. We talked much and dreamed big, allowing reality to squelch some. I found it fun to dream alongside my mate, not hindered in dream by fear, finances, or failure. If I am being honest, the first mentions of Colorado, church planting, and pastoring appeared to be another dream of Eric’s. Originally, though he was sure it was God’s will, I wasn’t. I encouraged the dream, while secretly praying for a reality check to squelch it before I had to. I questioned the call for 12-18 months, with no intention of accepting it as God’s perfect plan. Ultimately, while we were in Denver in Oct 2010, God confirmed in my spirit that this is all Him, not a dream or scheme of man. There is so much more to this story, ultimately an amazing journey with God. I have shed many tears over leaving family and friends, but this next step is undeniably part of God’s perfect plan for our lives. I have learned so much about myself already in these 18 months of peace in this journey. We have been and will continue to be stretched ’til it hurts, but being brought to complete reliance on God our Provider brings with it a sweet, intimate love for Him and for Eric like nothing I’ve ever known. I am praying for an absence of fear, as our God makes Himself known in Colorado, allowing us to be His vessels!

No Joke

Today has been bittersweet to us. We announced at our church the following:

For several years God has been shaping us to follow a call that I can no longer deny or resist. In Jeremiah 20:9, Jeremiah says, “There is a fire in my bones and I grow weary of holding it in.” Throughout the past few years God has refined our call by showing us that He has called us to plant a church in Denver, CO. In order to be prepared to plant this church, we have accepted a residency with Frontline Church Planting Group in Colorado Springs, CO that is part of Vanguard Church, a 15-year-old church that desires to plant churches that plant churches.

We will remain at Fairhaven until the fall of 2012 in full capacity, but will use the coming months to build prayer support, raise support, gather church partnerships and prepare for the transition to Colorado.

Please know that our family loves the people of Fairhaven all very dearly and pray that God will continue to do great things at this place called Fairhaven.